Gloucester Cathedral flowers may wilt this Christmas

I was reading last weekend about the nonsense in Gloucester Cathedral over the flower arrangers. It's taken a week for me to calm down. It is this sort of insanity that gets my goat. Annabel Hayter is, or was, the chief flower arranger. Then the cathedral authorities decided she and her fellow flower arrangers need vetting in case they might be tempted to do some evil in the vestry. Quite rightly Mrs Hayter took umbrage. ‘Do I look like a paedophile?’ she asked, angrily. ‘Of course I don’t. It’s ridiculous. I’ve got four children, 11 grandchildren and I’m as innocent as the day is long. So why should I have to prove that I am not?" She says this in her sitting room, which is full of ­flowers. There are lilies in vases, pink and white cyclamen in Christmassy pots and silk flowers in enormous peach and white displays. The motifs on the ­curtains are enormous sprawling flowers, the cushions on the sofa have patterns of blooms - even her teapot is flowery. Sitting in one corner is Annabel, resplendent in baby-pink cashmere jumper, a double string of pearls, beautiful pink nails and a couple of corgis by her feet. I'd say she was anything other than a paedophile or pervert.

I was watching Midlands Today and some female cleric in a red jumper came on saying that "We can't be too careful. Better to err on the side of caution. Blah, blah!" and simpered along suggesting that nothing was amiss. What is amiss is the whole edifice of this frightful quango that we all have to genuflect to. Of course, Mrs Hayter is right and the female cleric is wide of the mark. It is also insulting in the extreme to suggest that these flowery women would what to mess around with choir boys. Evil be to he (or she) who evil thinks. Maybe the flowers will wilt this Christmas. The lady clergyperson will get a sign at last!

The Independent Safeguarding Authority is a quango for all quangos. The chief bottlewasher, Sir Roger Singleton, gets paid handsomely for raking in the cash but doing diddly-squat to stop paedophiles. I would like him to come on national television and tell us all how many perverts his quango has identified who are seeking to work with children or vulnerable adults. I bet he would only need the fingers of one hand to help him. Yet his organisation charges fees for 9 million plus to be vetted and probed. As Mrs Hayter says, if she had gone along with it, they would all know at this quango what she uses her money for, because the quango wants to see bank statements. I'm glad my archdeacon saw a clean set of monetary transactions! Where are all these files kept. Maybe the real perverts are those sifting through other people's stuff.

Recently in Solihull two teachers have been charged for downloading child porn. They will stand trial soon. I guarantee you that Singleton's outfit knew damn all about it. If they are convicted, some West Midlands copper will stand outside the court and say "Well, these two fell under the radar!". Hopeless, the lot of them.

And a vicar has been convicted of the same offence. What did his diocese know about it all. Did the Vetting and Barring Scheme identify him? Not a chance! Why should they? They are mainly concerned with trying to fleece old women with zimmer frames who just want to stick a few flowers up in church.

No, the real results will be when those with the inability to control unnatural desires are given every encouragement to seek help and that those who care about changing their lives are given proper support. All we get at the moment is the quango on one side and the red top media on the other. A totally hopeless situation.

Posted in: child protection,Gloucester Cathedral,vetting