Tony Blair's global ambitions

I see from a link on the BBC website that there is something called The Office Of Tony Blair. I clicked on the link to find out more. Tony Blair seems now to be some cross between the Pied Piper of Hamlin and Mother Theresa in male form. In those halycon days at Fettes when a young Blair knocked on his housemaster's door and chirpily asked if "there is anything I can can do for you, Sir?" I bet the bemused housemaster can have had little idea the boy would turn into a global brand.

By the way, according to Facebook 21,936 people like Tony Blair. As Tony Hancock said to himself in the Radio Ham "friends all over over the world! None in this country. but...."

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Jacqui Smith talks up her border patrols!

I'm not sure whether I follow what Jacqui Smith is on about. I don't think Jim Naughtie on the Today programme did either. She's got this new agency (she starts one a month, it appears!) called the UK Border Agency. It a mishmash of customs wallers and visa checkers. What she hasn't said is who of us is going to be checked. Is it dodgy looking Osama bin Laden lookalikes or will it be your average Joe Bloggs? Are we all going to be questioned on our return to the UK? Just holding a British passport doesn't prove anything. I could have left the country by boat and come back by plane. I could have lived overseas for a time, which I did. She wouldn't have a clue where I'd been!

So the big question is this. Will it work? All these new powers she's giving to her minions are going to be useless unless they can excercise them. Who is going to be stopped? Is it all of us on a random basis? That could work. Ginger-haired people just as much as burka-clad females. No discrimination! Will it be just foreign passport holders? Or those with requiring visas? Who knows?

Jacqui Smith doesn't fill me with great enthusiasm. She appears to be a jobsworth. If she doesn't check those leaving the country how does she get her figures matching up? She doesn't, that's why she has no clue as to how many illegals are here, some of whom have been cleaning out her office!

I bet it'll be like Tony Hancock berating his landlady in the Radio Ham. She has complained about him going in and out of the house. "I don't keep on going in and out! I came home, I went out, and now I've come in again. I don't call that "keep going in and out". You saw me go out, you must have expected me to come in again!" Exactly. That's what we should say to these Border Agents!

Jacqui talks turkey!

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