Off the air with a wire loose

Cable TV and internet are at the mercy of wires and wiring. Last week my internet went down. Google Chrome was unresponsive. Then some of the cable TV stations started to pixilate in front of our eyes. Virgin Media was called, via some outpost in India. I often deal with Indian call centres. Mostly they are staffed by willingly patient types, but the English is very much out of the 1940's. Whatever is thought in the UK I can definitely state that it is my opinion that British English and Indian English have significant differences, especially over the telephone. I often feel like Tony Hancock in the Radio Ham, when he was talking to It Is Are Not Raining Here and declaiming "Phew! This is hard work". Anyway, back to the cable. It transpires in was a loose connection probably due to shoddy workmanship by the last cable tweaker (in the opinion of the cable tweaker that came this time).

All this makes me think how vulnerable we all are in this internet age. Get the system down and you might as well be on Mars as people think you are in hiding. I bank online (couldn't do that), buy tickets online (couldn't do that). Can't check email. It's quite alarming.

If society moves more to a system of online payments, no cheques any more, then we can be at the mercy of just one provider. Choice doesn't come into it. But I'm told it's progress.

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UK orders broadband future review

The government has said it will review the future of broadband internet in the UK amid calls that it should help firms pay for installing new infrastructure. I welcome this, although it has been given a lukewarm reception by some "analysts". Ian Watt is head of fixed-line research at Enders Analysis. He says that "the business case for next generation access is weak, Virgin Media already has a high speed network and Sky has a strong hold of the premium content that users might actually pay for". In other words, it's all working fairly well now.

Is Mr. Watt on the side of the providers or the users, or is he trying to be an honest piggy in the middle? I ask, because internet provision in the UK can be clouded in mystery. A mystery as to why it doesn't always work!!

It's easy for those using the old phone lines. Send a few pulses down the line and hope for the best. Those at the very end get "dodgy plus", those nearer the telephone exchange get by OK. If a user is tempted to complain, they get told "have you checked your computer?".

I would suggest that Virgin Media (on cable) and Sky (on satellite) can almost guarantee a reasonable service, but it does go wrong on occasions.

The truth is that the capacity does not allow for download optimum, which is all users downloading mega files at once. It's always going to be touch and go. Look at the internet traffic like motorway traffic. Being stuck on the M42 watching a plane land at Birmingham Airport and thinking of your holidays is very much like be stuck on a premium line phone call involved in a "dialogue" with your service provider!

The review should look carefully at whether the ISPs are conning us, giving us a good service or are just plain incompetent! We need to know.

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Media responds to Mills outburst

Be careful, be very careful, if you decide to have a go at the British press. Most of them are vipers living in a warm nest ready to pounce. Heather Mills/McCartney let it all out on GMTV and she gets a load of bile in return. I'm not necessarily interested in the divorce of the century, as the media hacks delight in saying. They make the rules, they instill the discipline or punishment if we break them.

The rather priggish Amanda Platell, an Aussie import now imparting her morality messages in the Daily Mail, came out like a puff adder! She burbled, "No-one who watched her yesterday can now be in any doubt about the extent of her self-delusion." Nice stuff, eh!

All I'd say is let Kate McCann, who never wanted publicity in the first place, hide from these vampires!

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Virgin Media being courted by rich suitor

Anyone on cable in Birmingham has had more suppliers than hot dinners, it seems. Just as we've been getting used to the rebrand from Telewest to Virgin, along comes the money bags group, Carlyle, with a takeover bid. Am I bovvered? Well, if they use their coffers to get UKTV up off their backsides to give us proper widescreen TV then the answer is NO. Currently all UKTV programmes come in a 4:3 format with widescreen programmes squeezed into the frame! Apparently it's all down to lack of cash. That should not be the case with Carlyle! (UKTV is partly owned by FlexTech, in turn part of Virgin Media.)

The viewer was just getting some benefits from Virgin Media it seemed. Let's hope the full package is yet to come.

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